Its Raining, Its Pouring

Thats what life is feeling like right now. Like I am in the middle of a downpour. Sometimes I feel like the old saying " when it rains, it pours" pretty much sums up this season of my life. My surgery is coming up next Thursday. In the midst of gearing myself up for that, I got news from my dermatologist this week that a spot she had removed from my skin last week was 'severely abnormal cells' and they needed to go back in and take out more. She said they weren't able to rule out it being Melanoma. Yuck.

This year has just been crazy for us with health issues. This is probably the biggest area in my life I find it so difficult to not let fear rule me. Its a constant battle in my mind. So many things are going on with me, Maddie's cardiologist appointment is coming up for this year and that makes me nervous everytime and then we are headed back to UVA in August for Kobe's ear surgery. I'm just ready for September to be here and have all this behind us!

I'm really working hard on choosing what thoughts I dwell on. Weeding out all the thoughts that are not from the Lord and filling my mind and heart with His truth. Speaking that truth to myself about 289 times a day. And what great opportunities I keep being provided with to walk this out. I hear you Lord, I get the message, please let it stop soon! :)

As I'm walking thru this crazy time in my life, I'm so thankful to have Jesus. What would it be like to go thru these things without the hope He brings? He is my rock. My fortress. My strength. I admit I feel weak and helpless. I can't think about this stuff without panicking most days. I get frustrated that I still let fear have a place in my life. But time and time again when I run to Him, He fills me with His perfect peace. Sweet peace. I'm hanging onto the precious promises in His Word.

I know that 'this too shall pass'. Its not fun walking thru this stuff. But I'm learning what it means to fully trust Him! And I'm looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows after this downpour.